Perhaps it was my youthful obsession with "having it my way" which led me in my adolescence to choose Burger King as my favorite Fast Food joint. In those tender years, I suppose that my palate desired something saltier and more "rebellious" than the other FF options on the market. After all, Burger King insisted that I "hold the pickles, hold the lettuce-- special orders don't upset us..."; and doesn't any kid want to be told that it's completely cool to order your burger sans anything other than meat, cheese, and a triple serving of ketchup and mustard-- all piled high on a starchy bun? BK's M.O. was also very different from McDonald's and Wendy's of years past-- as even asking one of either's employees if you could sub mustard for mayonnaise was call for getting a thousand-yard stare from the whole cook-line. Of course, as I got older, I became more and more obsessed with my appearance and that, combined with the barrage of media attention that heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and obesity got, made it simple for me to pull back on how much of any FF I ate.

                For a number of years, BK has been courting the younger male demographic-- aiming to please the single guy who desired the sort of burgers and other fare that they knew wasn't great for them, but were too young to care. Unfortunately, that tactic was not enough to keep the Miami-based company from dropping to the #3 Fast Food chain (being surpassed by Wendy's, which overtook #2 this quarter, while McDonald's held on to the Heavy-Weight title); not surprisingly, the decline in customers from their chosen demographic-- as well as any other-- had Burger King executives and their trusty researchers putting together a whole new plan for marketing to new customers-- most notably women.

                Several months ago Will, Kenny, and I had gone to BK to try out their Chef's Choice Burger--which was passable-- and their new desserts. Will and I discovered that we were in love with the Peach Granola sundae, and have occasionally returned there to get it as a treat after dinner-- yet we didn't feel any inclination to have an actual meal in the joint. It wasn't until I read about the new marketing campaign and menu items that I decided to give BK a shot once more. Fascinatingly, many of the new menu items may look familiar to you, as some of them are very similar to the ones that McDonald's rolled-out years ago. Chicken wraps, fresher artisan salads, smoothies and frappes-- all new additions; and more interesting is that BK has lowered their prices slightly, while McDonald's appears to be in a race with Exxon to see who can overcharge more for their product. Despite the fact that McDonald's added such options to their menu several years ago, BK still has a shot at bringing in new business with their own versions of the very same dishes.

                The plan was for Kenny and I to order things from the new BK menu which were analogous to those items which we've had at McDonald's; finding the dopplegangers wasn't difficult. I ordered the BK toppers Mushroom and Swiss (to compare to the McDonald's Angus Mushroom and Swiss) and Kenny ordered the 3 pc. Chicken Strips meal. Instead of fries, I asked for onion rings with my dinner, as I was curious if changes had been made to their formulation as well. 

                Kenny's Chicken Strips were very similar to the Chicken Select Strips available at McDonald's, but the difference that he noted was that the chicken was not stringy or dry. We both enjoyed the new fries they serve now, too, which are thick like Wendy's. They tasted of potatoes and stayed warm for much longer, yet still had a very crispy exterior, much like their old fries.

                My BK topper sandwich was a Whopper patty on a standard bun, but with a Swiss-American blend cheese and mushrooms; I opted to forego the "grill sauce". The sandwich was enjoyable overall-- tasty and filling, with mushrooms which-- unlike McDonald's-- tasted like mushrooms, not dirty socks. The only thing which I find strange about BK's burger patties is that there is a seasoning in them which gives the final product a hint of sausage-like flavor which, while not too obtrusive or off-putting, is certainly noticeable and somewhat odd. Another point to make is that the portion is much smaller than one of the McDonald's Angus Burgers, which are too plentiful for me to finish. I'm not a fan of wasting food, so this works for me-- and I've been bitching about the obscene portion sizes of our food for ages now, anyway. The last thing anyone needs is to eat a sandwich so large that they need to grow a goatee to cover the stretch marks around their mouth. A pleasant surprise was that the onion rings, while still not reminiscent of anything having to do with onions, were reformulated to have more onion "inspired" flavor and a crispier exterior. ::pinches BK's cheeks:: I know some little restaurant which cleaned its oil recently-- goochie goochie goo. To finish off our meals we both had vanilla hand-spun milkshakes, which tasted of a warm vanilla, weren't too sweet, and had a great thickness-- which McDonald's shakes claim to have, but never do.

                While we were enjoying the meal, I paid special attention to the new interior of our BK. Late last year it was remodeled to have a sleeker brushed chrome and dark wood motif. Now the bright and garish photos which donned the walls have been replaced with matte-black metal frames around large vignette arrays of lavish table spreads-- of course featuring beautifully prepared BK dishes, and one grouping on the back wall which depicts three women and two men,  presumably friends, laughing and chowing down on their nummy BK food. These individuals were dressed in casual chic and were older than the people in the old BK art-- I would guess that the new photos feature people in their late twenties to early thirties. On top of it all, the employees were tidy and friendly in their new steel gray uniforms and aprons, and the tables, floors, and windows were very clean-- a landmark achievement for any of the FF places on our side of town-- and during the dinner hours, no less. It's safe to say that BK successfully composed itself after retreating to their corner and now have come out swinging.

                Truthfully, I was pretty pleased with the experience-- and I am readily willing to return there occasionally-- but what the whole thing comes down to is not, in fact, a battle between Mickey D's and the BK. The King's new line-up of entrees and desserts shall certainly contend for the attention of McDonald's fans, but I sense that both places are laboring against a foregone conclusion. With her ever-improving quality of food and service-- as well as a diverse menu-- Wendy, the freckle-faced red-head is steadily creeping up on her competitors, primed to hobble their weary legs and punch them in the kidneys.

                That being said, give the new BK lineup a shot-- you may like their versions of McDonald's dishes better.

 
For today’s review, since neither April or I can/want to have alcohol, we decided to give Burger King's new menu options a try.  You’ve probably seen the recent commercials, saying that “Exciting Things” were happening at Burger King.  While “exciting” isn’t quite the word I would use, there have been some change-ups to their usual menu, many of which I am quite happy with.

To begin, let’s take a look at some of the new items on the menu.  First off, we have chicken strips, not to be confused with chicken tenders.  These are moderately-sized strips of chicken, which you can purchase in either a group of 3 or a group of 5.  Another new menu option are the Ranch Crunchy Chicken Wraps, a crunchy strip of chicken wrapped along with cheese, lettuce, and ranch dressing in a flour tortilla.  Also new to Burger King are the Strawberry Banana Fruit Smoothies.  Wait a minute…

Is any of this sounding familiar to anyone else out there?

I plan on doing this review solely on the food itself, but it was kind of strange walking into Burger King and seeing a bunch of menu items taken pretty much straight from McDonalds.  The BK that we went to was also recently remodeled, replacing their old back-lit overhead menus with the LCD screens that many other restaurants have started to use.  Unfortunately, our nearby McDonalds was remodeled about a year before, and have had the new menu displays for just as long.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with the new menu items or the new look of the menus themselves, but due to the timing it just seems like BK is resorting to copycatting to remain relevant.  Some of my friends have joked that this is just BK struggling to get back into the Number 2 spot after being ousted by Wendy’s, but I’m guessing changes like these would have had to have been planned long before that news came out.  Time will tell whether these changes help BK reclaim their former position.

Now, back to the review--

Due to the similarities between McD’s and BK, April and I decided to each get something similar to what we would normally eat at McDonalds.  Her meal consisted of a BK Mushroom and Cheese Topper (analogous partially to the new-ish Angus and Mushroom sandwiches at McD) with onion rings, while I ordered a 3 piece Chicken Sele—I mean, Chicken Strips meal with fries.  For what she thought of her meal, as always, you can visit her section.

Starting out with the fries, I would have to say that they are definitely an improvement of BK’s previous fries.  Now slightly thicker, you still get the crunch from the outer fry, but it is now accompanied by actual potato inside the fries!  I’m not sure if it’s just me, but whenever I had their fries before, the crunch was there but the fries were so thin it seemed like that was all there was.  Another thing that I had noticed with the fries, as well as an onion ring that I had tried, was that there was a lot less salt than I’m used to from fast food fries.  They actually reminded me of what Wendy’s was doing with their fries, albeit not “naturally cut”, with a lot less salt.  I’d have to say that out of the Big Three Fast Food places, BK has now taken the prize of the Best Fries.  Hopefully this just wasn’t a better than usual batch.

Moving on to the Chicken Strips.  I had tried the Chicken Selects a few times in the past, and have never been happy with them.  The McDonalds Chicken Selects always seemed really stringy to me, with gristle in each strip somewhere.  Besides that, I always felt that they were overpriced for the amount that you were given.  I’m happy to say that the BK Chicken Strips had neither of these problems.  The Strips were actually served warm and (most shockingly to me) juicy.  The price for what I got was also very reasonable.  Still a bit more than if I had gotten Chicken Tenders, but the quality of the Strips made up for the cost difference.

Heading out, April and I each picked up a Vanilla Milkshake.  I would have tried a smoothie, but having never tried one from McDonalds, I would have had nothing to compare it to.  The milkshakes are spun with what I believe to be a mix of Vanilla ice cream and milk.  Nothing shocking, I know, but when it comes to fast food, this could have definitely been something pre-made.  We were actually able to see them mixing our shakes, though.  Again, out of all three competitors, BK has won me over.  The Vanilla Milkshake tasted great, and had a perfect  thickness to it.  You could still drink it with a straw, but it wasn’t watered down either.

Do I think that BK’s new menu will help them knock Wendy’s back into third place?  Definitely.  I would go as far to say that if it weren’t for McDonalds overwhelmingly strong popularity and cultural significance, Burger King could have a shot at reaching number 1.  In my opinion, BK is now beating McDonalds in taste, and Wendy’s in cost.  I love going to Wendy’s sometimes, but the prices there are way too high for me.  I’m not sure what BK’s prices were before the menu change, but taking a look at them now, it seems like they are lower all around than other fast food restaurants.

To conclude, I love Burger King's new menu, and feel that they can give McDonalds and Wendy’s a run for their money.  There’s still a part of me, however, that kind of wishes they could have done it without coming so close to copying McDonalds.    

 
                I have always steered away from fast-food fish sandwiches.  This is not at all due to an aversion to fish, but rather my intense love of seafood.  Why, I thought, suffer through those nasty little frozen fish squares that plague cafeterias and TV dinners everywhere,  when  tastier options abound for the eater willing to take even the first step off the most beaten of paths?  Fried haddock and chips, broiled whole fish (head intact please, those are the best parts), crab-stuffed flounder fillets, sushi and sashimi; all regularly available at numerous locally owned restaurants and diners.

                Last week, though, something caught my attention.  Wendy's was proudly advertising a panko-breaded cod fillet sandwich.  I was surprised, to say the least.  For those who may not know, most frozen fish sandwiches are made from pollock, haddock's far less tasty cousin; it's a trash fish.  Cod, however, is more highly prized, and pricier.  Further I always applaud this kind of transparency in food, especially in a fast-food joint.  I decided it was worth a shot.

                The Wendy's Premium Cod Fillet

                I must say, for a fast-food fish sandwich, the Wendy's cod fillet wasn't half bad.  Cod has never been my favorite white fish, tasting just a little too metallic to me.  However, its slight sweetness, mild fishiness, and meatier texture make it a huge step up from most fast-food fishy fare.  The sandwich was (thankfully) light on the tartar, so as not to walk all over the subtleties of the fish itself.  The panko breading was nicely browned and crispy and the bun was lightly toasted and tasty.  All in all I was pleasantly surprised.  

                Having had a fairly good experience at Wendy's I wondered if, perhaps, the other major fast-food places might deserve a chance.  This called for a comparison of the "Big Three".  Next up was McDonalds.

                McDonald's Filet-O-Fish

                Now this is the cafeteria-style fish sandwich I had been dreading:  pale brown breading encased cheap pollock and formed into an unnaturally square shape.   Globs of tartar oozed out.  I steeled myself and bit in.  I was confused at first; it wasn't good, to be sure, but wasn't as repulsive as I remembered these things to be.  Could my taste buds be failing me?  I feared I would have nothing to write about until I opened the second sandwich (I had opted for the two fish meal) and noticed the off- center orange cheese sticking out the side of the bun, like a tongue razzing me.  The first sandwich had lacked the cheese.

                Old food wisdom states that one shouldn't mix cheese and fish; and with the exceptions of the tuna melt and lox with a smear, I agree.  Cheese, by definition, is spoiled milk, and lends this spoiled flavor to fish.  Without cheese the sandwich was merely bad, with cheese it was disgusting.  My hopes dashed, I solemnly headed out to my final stop of the "Big Three".

                Burger King's BK Big Fish

                Morale low, I unwrapped my Big Fish.  It looked much like the McDonald's Filet-O-Fish, but, as the name would suggest, was considerably larger.  Hoping this would lend itself to a better texture, I tucked in.  Immediately all hopes for a finer texture were discarded; the fish was flaky, and even tough.  If it were possible for fish to be gristly that would be the word I would use to describe it.  Copious amounts of tartar helped mask the fish's flavor with its own, and made holding the filet between the buns a chore.  I choked it down and was glad to be done.

                The winner here is obvious, and should be no surprise.   If you find yourself at a Wendy's with a craving for fish, give the cod filet a chance.  Avoid the others, or at least  ask them to omit the cheese, and to cut back on the tartar.  Hopefully the other biggies will follow Wendy's lead on this one and offer some better fish options.

 
I had wanted to try the Doritos Locos taco ever since I had first heard about it online.  Apparently it has been around for a few months now in select locations.  (Toledo, OH, and Fresno and Bakersfield, CA).  I felt that I would never have a chance to try these tacos, believing that they would not sell well enough in their test markets.

Thankfully I was wrong and this month Taco Bell released the Doritos Locos nationwide.  As I sat down for my first taste, I wondered, would they be worth the wait?

First opening the wrapper, I was surprised by the thin cardboard holder surrounding the taco.  The shells did not seem any weaker than normal taco shells, so I wondered what the need for this holder would be.  After bringing the shell out a little to take a bite, I instantly realized that this taco holder had an important role to play.

The taco shells definitely reminded me of Doritos, orange powder and all.  The cardboard holder was there, at least partially, to keep my hands clean.  They also served another purpose, however.  I’ve heard that eating slowly makes it so that you don’t eat as much, since your body takes time to realize that it is full.  These holders made it so that I could only take small bites.    

What did I think of the taste?  I really liked it!  The Dorito flavor mixed incredibly well with the crunch of the lettuce and the coolness of the sour cream.  This was a combination of flavors that I had never had before, and enjoyed greatly.

So were they worth being excited over?  In all honesty, I’m not sure.  While I loved the taste, I have never really been too fond of the original Nacho flavor of Doritos.  I have heard rumors that they will be adding a Cool Ranch version to their menu, so I want to try those out if they do.  

Another detractor for me was the price.  I did not get the Big Box meal, choosing instead to get the Three Supreme Taco meal.  I changed two of those tacos to the Dorito version, adding $1.00 to the total cost of the meal.  While I enjoyed the experience of trying the Doritos Locos, at $0.50 a pop, however, I don’t think that I will be ordering these again, except to try the Cool Ranch flavor.

 
            I must confess, both Doritos and Taco Bell are kind of guilty pleasures of mine.  I get the odd craving for both every few months or so, then promptly remember why I don't need to eat them more often.

                My initial reaction to the tacos was one of mild amusement.  I hadn't seen any of the commercials for the product, so unwrapping them was my first visual exposure.  Before me were three tacos that looked like someone had dumped the remnants of a spent Doritos bag on them, the powder clinging to the grease.  They were even served in cute little holders that bore the Doritos logo, like a little bag.  I chose to forgo any condiments and dug in.

                The flavor was unremarkable, but tasty enough.  It should be no shock that the flavor of nacho cheese pairs just fine with those of a Taco Supreme; sour cream, taco meat, tomato, more orange cheese.  And eating one does evoke the Doritos experience, right down to the orange residue on your fingertips. 

                For me the Doritos Locos Taco was exactly what I was expecting: a standard taco shell that has been covered in Doritos dust.  But does this make it a Doritos shell?  To me it does not; the texture is a large part of what makes a Dorito what it is, and the texture is certainly not the same.  This is almost certainly a necessity, as a chip would likely just shatter on the first bite, but this differing texture does effect the taste slightly.  The flavor profile is indeed similar, but to me, it is not the promised 'taco wrapped in a Dorito'.

                None the less the Doritos Locos Taco was enjoyable in its own way.  It tasted fine, if a bit salty, and it satisfied my guilty pleasures for faux-Mexican food and neon orange cheese.  As far as fast food novelties go it's inoffensive (it's no KFC Double Down, a novelty that offended not only the taste buds, but also one's sensibilities), but forgettable.  Try it if the you are curious, the extra fifty cents is worth spending, if only once.   

 
   I first heard about the Doritos Locos Taco Shells from a Facebook status update of one of my friends; to paraphrase, he ecstatically touted the virtues of the Shells, and thanked Taco Bell for releasing them. Given that I spent most of my youth consuming copious fistfuls of Doritos chips and making questionable outfit choices, the prospect of adding my original guiltly-pleasure-food (Doritos) to one of my adult GPF's (Taco Bell) was too tantalizing too pass up-- ergo , the first time the opportunity to try them appeared, I pounced all over it like a pair of clearance Manolo Blahnik's. 

     I decided to order the Cheesy Gordita Crunch combo, substituting  the Doritos Locos Shell for the standard crunchy shell which would normally be wrapped inside the Gordita. The combo also came with two more tacos of my choice, so I requested they be made with the DL Shells as well. With each DL Shell tacking on an (some would argue) exorbitant $0.50 (the specialty shells added $1.50 to the tally), it crossed my mind that these things had better be pretty freaking delicious if Taco Bell had any hope of getting repeated orders for them.  
    The very first thing that I noticed upon unwrapping the Gordita Crunch and tacos was that the shells are orange. Not normal Doritos' orangey-powder-on-yellow-corn-chips orange; no, we are talking day-glow, phosphorescent, didn't-exfoliate-before-getting-your-spray-tan orange. Though mildly surprising, this aspect was not in any way repugnant to me. I'm not really sure what I was expecting. If I had, upon entering the establishment, simply taken a good long gander at the window clings announcing the DL Shells, I would have seen the color. Tick that in the box of "My bad". 
Truthfully, I'm not really certain why I was expecting anything different; Will and Kenny seemed neither taken-aback nor abashed when tucking into their respective meals. For some reason, what I had been anticipating was a shell more similar in thickness and consistency to a Doritos chip. Thinking upon it after seeing the actual product, it became clear that such a consistency would cause the shells to crumble as rapidly as my hopes for loving them. 
 Brass tacks: While the DL Shells have the general flavor of Doritos Chips due to a Doritos-flavored powder dusted over the surface (the shells even come in little holsters so that you don't get it on your fingers-- presumably because you would then get it all-the-frig-over yourself), they still do not quite taste like Doritos to me. Perhaps that is because of the texture of the shell itself, which is actually very much like the traditional Taco Bell crunchy shell, yet somehow more fragile, mealy, and replete with a slight greasiness. Moreover, I found it sort of annoying that the flavor profile was so easily overpowered in the case of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch. While I expected the tangy sauce to affect the overall experience, I certainly didn't think that it was capable of completely masking the savory Doritos powder.

      Another issue is the flavor of the powder itself. It was tasty enough, but it reminded me more of the off-brand Faux-ritos that my Mother used to get on sale-- leaving one with the taste of something which seems as though it would be classified as "similar, but legally distinct". Eating the DL Shells did not evoke in me the sense that I was munching on something truly made as part of a Doritos line of products. In fact, to me it almost smacked of them attempting to convince me that I was eating something that really tasted quintessentially Doritos; as if the homogenously orange shell was meant to distract me from the fact that they were just a bit off.
  Now, don't get me wrong, I actually did like them-- but not enough to pay an additional $0.50 to get them again; they just weren't similar enough to original Doritos for my tastes. However, I highly encourage anyone who wants to try them to do so and see how they feel. It's absolutely worth a shot, and I know several people who love them.